In The Nude

My blog, my life, my thoughts revealed to you here and now...

Amazingly, I keep finding myself arriving at certain points in my life without being fully conscious of how I got here or there.

It's odd because I have been aware as I've gone along living my day-to-day and doing my things, that I am existing and making all of my choices. However, I still find myself in deep thought asking "how did you get here? Why did you choose here? Where would you be if not for here?"

So, how did I get here? More pensive thought might eventually bring me to the answer, but more interestingly, where am I?

I moved to London, England from Ottawa, Canada in 2003 fully embarking upon a journey of love; a longing to be with my childhood sweetheart, a promise of a heart fulfilled. I said goodbye to my family, my career, my money and my friends and traded in the life I knew so well for so long for the promise of love.

Oh, and the love did come. It came in the form of a huge heart filled with endless thumping and goodness. It also came in the form of my husband's two previous children who shared their weekends with us.

Quickly, I found myself submerged into an entirely different life; as if I had walked off a plane onto another planet. I didn't recognize the people, the territory, the language. All was foreign. Hey, don't get me wrong. The very fact that everything was so unfamiliar was very exciting and thrilling. "Look at me!" I would say to myself. I'm doing it! I'm living the life that everyone wants to live. I've taken the plunge.

I began deep self-observation as I was not able to work in England without a work visa or a spousal visa and discovered that life without work was no life at all - chalk it up to intense childhood drilling. I poured myself into my love's flat, scrapping the walls (with my nails), painting, decorating and turning into a house hermit; all the while, trying to convince myself that it was all in the name of becoming more open and aware.

It is true. I did discover that work was not all it was cracked up to be. Who really wants to get up in the morning and work a 9 - 5 job for someone else and trudge through the day getting no where fast? I don't. At least, not in the format that I knew.

My previous work was that of an IT Director and work it was. I worked nights, weekends, days; all the time. Sure, I got money and I also got two weeks of holiday per year. What??? Is that right? Yes. Two weeks. Can you imagine working all that time and only having two weeks off? It's crazy! That's what millions of people do. They work like mad for a whopping amount of money and no time off - ever! The crazy thing about it really is that you don't even know how crazy it is when you're doing it. It's only when you leave it that you realize how crazy it is.

I shall continue my life in London....